I believe that authenticity matters; hiding who we are stifles growth opportunities for the individual and collective. So in this blog I write about all things that genuinely fascinate me: art, spirituality, the puzzles of personhood--and their ongoing interplay. For some, learning the artist's thoughts contaminates the experience of the art, and I respect that. It might be best to avoid this blog and visit only my gallery pages. Personally I can't get enough of the stories, ideas, and people behind art, so this blog is most appropriate for an audience similarly curious and open-minded, and who won't take offense at challenging perspectives and taboo topics. It's especially for those who are aware they're undergoing a spiritual awakening and seek to feel less alone in that process. I wouldn't be at this better place in my life if it weren't for the wayshowers I found online who helped me understand what was happening to me and to the world, and I hope to pay it forward by doing the same for others on the awakening path. But most of all this blog is for me, as writing helps me clarify my thoughts and record my progress like nothing else.
Why do I tend to go monochromatic with my cairn paintings? Again, I didn't know why right away; I just knew I liked it. There's something stripped down and elemental about it, reminiscent of old, water-damaged black-and-white or sepia-toned photographs. One night, preoccupied with this question, I sat for a long time just staring at one of my test paintings done completely in garnet, and some words came to me, which I ended up scrawling across the top of the paper: Monochrome clearly connects opposing extremes along continuum of single hue.
A shift from dark to light is much more obvious when only one color is involved. I remembered that one of my favorite artists, Carol Carter, posted this helpful tip on her social media some time ago: "value does the work, color takes the credit," meaning that high contrast in dark and light tones--regardless of colors used--is what helps create interest in a painting. Dark purple might make pleasing contrast with light green, but it's the darkness vs. lightness of the hues that matters to the overall effect more than just the fact that they're different colors. To prove her point she gives her students squares of transparent red plastic so they can view paintings through a monochromatic filter, to more clearly see contrast.
I think that's what's going on in my paintings: the desire to clearly show contrast and produce a sense of change, which serves as a metaphor for the shift out of this school of high contrast--black/white, good/bad, negative/positive--that is third-dimensional planet Earth (FYI, there are other planets and realities that don't experience this duality). My cairns could be a love letter to 3D Earthly incarnation: Thanks for the contrast; my soul has never learned so much in a place so difficult. Of course, the self that we are conscious of--the Earth-based personality or ego--wouldn't have chosen the difficult, painful circumstances we encounter in our lives. But it's kind of cool that there are other aspects of our multidimensional selves pulling us in challenging directions for the sake of growth, so that the larger All That Is (God, Source, etc.) we're a part of can know itself ever better. I think that's the trick: to develop awareness about what's really going on, and then feel gratitude for everything we've been through because of how it ultimately serves us. Gratitude raises one's frequency. Gratitude will get you everywhere.
I can now look back to 2010 and see how some wise part of my multidimensional self deliberately dragged me into a dark night of the soul. During this time all my painful emotions from childhood that I had never been allowed to feel and had therefore suppressed came boiling up out of seemingly nowhere, leaving me in confusing rage and sadness. As a devout atheist at the time I wasn't consciously aware of ascension and the healing, frequency-raising process it requires and initiates. But I didn't need to be, because my higher self was. It took the reins and whispered, OK kiddo, time to wake up! We've got ETs to meet someday, and other cool things to experience . . . .
This is why I actually have no interest in convincing anyone about anything I'm writing here, even though things I discuss like spirituality and aliens can trigger derision and defensiveness as some subconsciously sense a threat to their beliefs. It's my understanding that all souls wake up exactly when they need to--in one lifetime or another. I couldn't have forced my own awakening if I tried, and neither can anyone else. The beliefs I had absorbed without question from my parents, schools, mass media completely served me until one day they . . . just . . . didn't, and all I had to do was hear mention of spiritual possibilities and something clicked, though it never had at such mentions before. Things like art, writing, and videos in our 3D reality activate that destined spark within us only when it's ready, or help us figure out things after awakening has started. A byproduct of awakening that has made me unexpectedly happier is releasing judgment of everyone else's paths. I can completely see how they're all valid for soul growth, even the ones I wouldn't choose for myself.
I'm so grateful for the Earthlings and others who sparked something in me by sharing their amazing stories and refreshingly new perspectives that help me navigate my own awakening. This adds another layer of meaning to my cairn paintings, symbolizing these inspiring wayshowers. There's Rick Strassman, whose documentary, DMT: The Spirit Molecule instantly shattered my worldview and had me booking a trip to Peru for a life-changing ayahuasca retreat; Teal Swan, whose YouTube videos spoke directly and eerily to my circumstances about how childhood emotional trauma had created behavior patterns that served me at one time but were now keeping me small, and showed me how to heal; Bashar, the widely beloved, hilarious, no-nonsense ET channeled by a human who has helped so many to see things from entirely new perspectives and gives the best advice ever; Joan Ocean, Linda Shay, and Joebaby Noonan who introduced me to the extraordinary world of dolphins, those incredibly advanced beings who do so much for us and the planet; Sandra Walter, whose weekly mass meditations help us shift reality with the power of our intention; and Matt Kahn, another YouTuber who reminds us that everything really and actually is love, albeit in myriad unlikely guises to help us learn and grow.
But really, pretty much everyone in our lives is a metaphoric cairn, a wayshower on the path, if we consider how they affected us in some way--including the ones who took us to the dark places where, only later when we awake to our own power, do we realize we learned and grew the most. As Ram Dass says, "We're all just walking each other home."